You Can Write Your Own

Memorial Sermon

      Preachers  probably spend more time thinking about death than most others do. They know “it is appointed for all men once to die, and after that comes judgment” (Heb. 9:27). They also know that, given time and circumstances, people in the congregations they serve will die, and they may be called upon to speak at funeral or memorial services for them.

      A memorial service for the dead can be the most difficult part of a preacher’s  work. What can you say at such a time? You want to help bereaved persons cope with their sorrow and adjust to their loss, and you can’t usually get away with being impersonal –  people expect you to make some specific personal references and elicit “precious memories” of the departed. That’s where the difficulty lies.

      If one is scrupulously honest, he cannot always find much that is spiritually good to say about the dead. And if one were only to speak of the little good and ignore all the negative things, he might give the bereaved some false hope about the destiny of the dead, some false and flimsy hope that will not ring true to any who really knew the person in life. It might also lead one to have a distorted view of God’s will and the importance of righteousness. Of course the preacher is not the judge, and what he says has no real bearing or impact upon the dead. But we do not want to mislead the living. I have often thought that funeral services ought to be designed for the living, to help them find their place with God, and to provide them with resources for living without the departed. It might even help them to prepare for their own death. But most people would not have it so. That means we will continue to speak about the dead – make it a “memorial service” for the dead, rather than a service to and for the living.

      What then shall we speak? There are some about whom it can be a joy to speak – true saints of God whose lives have been devoted to the Savior. One can easily tell of specific good works of such people. One can talk about love and kindness, of a cheerful and patient disposition, and how their lives touched other lives in a helpful way. One might even be able to speak of sacrifice, of Christian courage in the face of trying circumstances. He can speak of friendship and fellowship with the person. There will be many “precious memories” of such people and it is a joy to relate them. I have had the pleasant experience of speaking in memory of such persons.

      There are others about whom one can best speak only in broad generalities. They have done no specific things which make the world a better place, nothing that will endure to mark their passing.  These are the ones whose lives were pretty much average. They were not deliberately or overtly wicked. But they weren’t well focused on righteousness either. Just ordinary folks: a “good ol’ boy” or a “good ol’ girl” who was,  “Not all that bad, although certainly not without faults.” This group could include the majority of people in the world – in the churches too.

      Then there are some – I must be frank here – that the preacher hopes will not die while he serves the congregation where they are. After all, what can be said for a person who never obeyed the gospel, even though he knew what to do and had many opportunities to do it? What could you possibly say about those who were once faithful but quit the Lord and his church and died in sin? How could anyone speak up for the hypocrite, for the person who pretends to be good and right with God and man, yet really deceives no one but himself?

      People may resent it when the preacher tries to prepare them for death as well as life. But we need to be reminded that we are writing our own memorial sermons as we live. The preacher may not be bold enough to read it out when one dies, but God is, and He will do it – He will read it out for all to hear for all eternity (Rev. 20:10-15). You may say you don’t care what the preacher says when you are dead, since you won’t hear it and it won’t make any difference to you at all. But you will hear it from the Lord, in full and in precise detail. I hope you care about that. If you do care, you may want to start rewriting your memorial now, while you still can. Precious memories must be arranged for in advance.